1995.

I'm going to bring you back to a certain point in my life, although I didn’t fully comprehend what had happened then, looking back at it now, it was the first time my family, the family I thought was untouchable, broke.

My grandfather passed away on February 15th, 1995. I was young. I knew what happened & I understood what happened. I remember walking in the door from school and my mom and dad sitting at the table. Anyway, I walked in and my dad had me sit on his lap and he told me. I cried and then we went to my Nona’s. I will never forget when I went there that day. I sat on her lap and she was hugging me so tightly. I can remember feeling as if her arms were just swallowing me as she held me against her chest. She was screaming in my ear and rocking back and forth, “He’s gone, He’s gone.” See, the thing about my grandparents is that they were absolute soulmates. My Nona literally had a broken heart and on June 20th 1995, just 3 short months and 5 days after my Grandpa passed, that broken heart took her from us. Unfortunately, I was so young, I don’t remember much of my grandparents besides the stories and pictures that people share.

Did you ever see the movie “Soul Food”? When I first watched that, Big Mama reminded me of my Nona. She was the glue. She was the foundation. We would go over there all the time for dinner. Holidays were unreal. Christmas Eve & Christmas day, I couldn’t wait to go over there. Santa would come and I would get so excited when I would hear the clanking from him, or her, walking down the steps; not ever noticing that my dad, Grandpa or Grandma would take turns being Santa. My Nona is who started my addiction to chocolate milk. I can remember one time I was running in their house and I ran into the doorknob of my Grandpa’s TV room. My eye was gushing blood and my dad put me on top of their counter in the bathroom and the counter was really long and I can remember looking at my Grandpa and feeling bad for him because he was all the way at the end and couldn’t see what was going on. My Grandpa would chase my brother around with a yellow yard stick that he hid next to the refrigerator and my Nona would ALWAYS have Juicy Fruit gum to give us that she kept in a jar in the cabinet right by the door to the garage. I can remember running in their front yard because it was really big and throwing rocks in the pond that they had in the backyard. I can remember how red my Nona’s face would get when she would laugh and the hair that grew out of my Grandpa’s nose. I can’t remember their voices. I can’t remember anything they told me. I can’t remember the last time I saw their faces other than in pictures, but the memories I do have of them will hopefully last a lifetime.

Regardless if I knew them as much as I would have hoped, they helped shape who I am today. Their blood is running in my veins. I learn more and more about them each and every day. By having those family dinners, they made me understand how important family is and how lucky I am to be a part of the one I am. Some of us may fight, some of us may not agree with one another, and some of us may not talk to each other on a regular basis, but at the end of the day, we are family, and that is something my grandparents taught me that I will never forget.